Larry the cucumber part 2

Larry has gotten really big. you see, in the world of blog time there is a time vortex so what actually happens is quite different than real time. how ever pitts time is totally different. and when a pitts messes with the time vortex of blogworld and has to stop and check her spelling and grammar? terrible time crunches occur. I try to do as little of that as possibly and when rereading my blog i find the most horrific errors. (sometimes i even click the edit button.)

Back to Larry! here he is on the vine.


I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
The Importance of Being Ernast

Do you prefer a cage or a pole?

Tomatos have not done well this summer. It's the weather. its not sunny enough, or hot this further cripples plants that are not in full sun. I learned how to prune tomatoes earlier at work. Cutting off the leafy parts that are not going to produce fruit. This is so that the energy does not go to useless leaves, rather to help the fruit grow.

I bought the bamboo poles for an exorbant price and i actually with the help of a coecerced sibling (whatelse is new?) managed to uncage the tomatoes, and tie them to the poles. It is a job well done. I'm not a fan of tomato cages, the tomatoes get taller and i find the cage does not support the tomato plant as well as being tied to a pole. tomatoes are one of those plants that can be trelissed and this saves space and prevents other plants from being shaded out.


This is shot from behind the pea trellis and if you look closely you can see a chicken.

Growing Larry

The cucumbers are growing! The cucumbers are growing!
I am the proud cultivator of the asian variety of cucs which are spiky-ish, I prefer English variety which are the common ones. Common to costco anyway. However at this point I am just greatful something decided to grow, and that I got it trellised, and watered, and I haven’t killed it yet. The super small bud, which I have named Larry the cucumber.

Then there were eleven

This past week the chickens were taken to a butchering outfit. My brother and sister who are 13 and 9 accompanied the truck down to the butchering place. All 15 broilers were taken away. Soon we will have the most expensive chicken we have ever eaten. Several weeks ago I asked my sister about the broilers meeting their end, to make sure she knew it was coming (even though we talked about butchering them at least four dinners a week) “so you realize they’re going to die?”
“yes. They’re broilers, not layers.” Thank you Elizabeth, you are a true chicken farmer at age 9.

After they got back from The Meat Shop I was running errends with the kids and I asked them what they thought, “It was SO SAD. We took them away to be murdered! They had no idea, and we hauled them off to be killed.” Adam is a little more sensitive then his counterpart the nine year old, who said “It was pretty cool. They had pens for cows, they just don’t kill chickens. And they kill a lot of people’s chickens.” Rest in peace Tasty White Meat. Until I see you again on the end of my fork!


yeah he's pissed

Chicken Run

Another day, another drama. This time it was the mystery of the missing chicken. Was it perhaps fowl play? One of our layers went, or rather was, missing when the cluckers were rounded up to be put into the chicken coup for the night. everyone else went to bed, but not our hero.

Elizabeth, the hero is a Good Chicken Farmer reminiscent of the Good Sheppard. She left the ten layers in search of the lost one. In the dark at 10pm with out a flashlight (she nearly caused a disturbance in the force by trying to find a flashlight in a bedroom of those already asleep) she did not give up. She searched the yard until she found it. The hen in question happened to be lost in a tree. Saved at last! Elizabeth brought her into the house to celebrate her accomplishment where I snapped this picture.


Of course it would be reepicheep. The hen named for the mouse in the Chronicles of Narnia, the one that sets off in a boat to fall over the edge of the world. If our reepicheep was going on such an adventure Aslan (our Good Chicken Farmer) found her and brought her back.

--I do not know how Elizabeth picks her up. look at the talons, maybe its an eagle chicken hybrid. those are some witchy toenails.

Farmer vs Gardener

I became a true farmer yesterday. Not a gardener. A gardener gardens they pick flowers and trim hedges. A farmer harvests crops and is serious about it. So I harvested. Well actually I made my brother and his friend help me as per usual I threatened to get his tv privileges yanked if he didn’t hop to. We (his friend) harvested beans, peas, zucchinis, and turnips. Not bad. We got some good stuff. I am successful! YES! The nice part about peas and beans is that the vegetable comes off the plant but the plant stays there. It doesn’t leave holes or dirt patches in my garden. Look at that nice bean plant. so nice. so fru--vegetableful.

I planted the peas and beans and turnips and I harvested them (the zucchini was a volunteer plant, meaning that it seeded its self and had nothing to do with me).
We ended up eating the beans and zucchinis for dinner today, along with applesauce we made on Saturday. So we were doubly successful and didn’t let the produce rot in the fridge. Look at us and being all sustainable and green. Its like we planned it.

In the aftermath I was informed that I picked the zucchini too small and needed to let them get bigger next time. Harvesting apparently is both science and art. Some things cant be allowed to get too big such as snap peas because they become woody and tough to eat, but small zucchini is bitter, while big zucchini doesn't taste good either. However before this time my experience has been bigger is better.
see this man? he is proud of his potato and it got him internet fame. There are no contests for small vegetables. but there are for 1000 lb pumpkins and tomatoes the size of cantaloupes, and cantaloupes the size of large watermelon, and on it goes, every plant trying to one up the bigger vegetable growing in the next row over. so much to know about growing things. no wonder some farmers only stick to one crop.

Crash Course in Canning

I got a text this morning, “Mom wants you to come straight home from practice, she says we’re doing an urban farming project and you can blog about it.” Gah! They have found my weakness! So of course I came home and discovered that we were making applesauce! Apparently applesauce does not come from cans. It comes from jars. And a lot of time intensive work. Little House on The Prairie and every other book that exists and mentions canning makes it sound like a horrendous process. It probably is. Out here on the urban farm we have stoves, running water, and fans which make our job a little easier.

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First we gathered all of the apples from our neighbor’s tree. (She said we could have them.) then Mom, Donna, and Billy cut them up, and cut out the bad parts so that there would be no protien (worms) in our product Billy was obviously hard at work. Thankfully ownership leads to responsibility.

Then we boil the apples down so that they are soft. And mushable.

After that I turn them in the food mill. Until only the skins remain. the skins are in the bowl to the left. They can be used for Apple Cake. Here on the farm we use the whole buffalo, ...or apple.
I then funnel the applesauce into jars. This whole process is repeated until you run out of apples or jars. Then the jars are given a bath in boiling water for 20 minutes which according to our canning expert causes the contense to boil sanatizing it, and then as they cool the air is sucked out and the lids seal.

So we weren’t doing it ingle wilder style over a fire with a cauldron (just a big pot on a stove), but in the end three hours of work for 14 jars. Probably cheaper to buy it, but during the apocalypse we’ll be happy we know how. And we spent time together as a family. Awwww.

skills

for many moons my whinings have filled the skies. "Why dont i have skills? why cant i make cool presents to give people that wont cost me exorbint amounts of money? why cant i knit or make working toasters from brokendown radios and barbed wire." we all know those people who can make homemade gifts and while others may be cooing over how much work went into these offerings, i am thinking about how much money those skilled people save. If only i had some crafty skill or ability. I dont even care if it is making wooden napkin holders or welded sculptures out of paper clips.

Then today, EUREAKA! I HAVE FOUND IT! After all these years!

I am able to growing things (albeit a little badly) so I am going to make loose leaf tea from herbs that i grow. I know. brilliant. now i only need some *herbs and the googling ability to figure out how to make tea bags, or i could just give loose leaf and go more green and cheap.

if anyone steals my idea i will impale you on those bamboo poles i just bought. I dont even care that they are nearly 4 bucks a piece.

Crazy Carrots

I love to garden carrots. I even like to think i am good at it. A few days ago i decided to harvest some of my carrots which had HUGE leafy green tops, and i pulled out a Wonder Carrot! I Wonder Why It Isnt Bigger Carrot. it was thinner than a pencil. so thinking that was a fluke (the tops were super big) i pulled another one. same thing. Guess these carrots are not ready. Vast Disapointment. Pulling root vegtables is like christmas. you dont know what exactly you are going to get. except when you get something pitiful. its like santa brought you coal and you know you werent that bad. I'm an angsty gardener.

However what MADE my day was when Casey (my supervisior at work, who i also help with the education gardens)gave me the remainder of a Rainbow Carrot Seed Pack!Rainbow carrots grow in a variety of colors: yellow, red, purple, white, or orange. When its time to pull them it's like christmas on Steriods or rather Wedding Presents. You get what you asked for and even better, because everyone wants to eat a purple carrot!!



So i planted them. Everywhere. Literally, Everywhere. Where the green onions did not survive, between the peas, in the pot that has the pair tree in it. I'm planting them a little late. It takes about 70 days to hit full grown, so these might be christmas carrots. The thing about carrots is that most people eat them and know what they are. rutabagas? okra? kale? not really, but carrots yes. C is for Carrot and they are Crazy-Good.

Bamboo Business

Right now I am pretty consumed with how much the stupid bamboo poles cost me. I got really nice ones at Fred Meyer which were in the wrong bin so they were triple what I was expecting. Practically had antifalactic shock at the register. I’m not sure if its worth 15 bucks to get four poles. They look nice and I wont have to worry about bamboo spreading (its basically an invasive weed) if i use uncured stakes that i cut from the neighbor's i risk them coming back to life and growing a bamboo garden. on the other hand i want my tomatoes staked and growing up rather than out and crowding the other plants.

I turn to solve this monetary problem with the Starbucks Equivalencey Method. I calculate everything by how much a grande mocha at starbucks cost, (this is a step down from the Total Work Eqivalency Method which calculates out how long i will have to sit at my desk to earn that money) I could basically buy four starbucks for that 15 dollar pricetag this does not take into account treat reciepts or tax. I’m not sure if those poles will bring me the equivalent happiness and satisfaction of four starbucks. but they are reuseable and calorie free. So it’s a bit of a toss up. In my heart of hearts I just kind of want some for free. I just checked on craigslist and there are some in ballard which is near where my gym is by 20 minutes. It was posted a week ago. So I don’t know if they are still available. who knew bamboo stakes in my life could cause such problems.

Help Wanted: Not Him

yesterday i made adam help trellis the cucumbers (I didnt know you could trellis cucumbers but it was done at the south plant garden so i figure if i grow things up i will save space) that way the weeds can encroach on more of my territory with out me having to actually deal with them. Adam is clearly estatic to help me, as per usual i force the nearest and most availible sibling into farm work by any means possible. I believe i told him i would get his computer priviledges yanked. I know Adam, I am a terrible sister, making you interact with nature. Its like you're a real human or something.

He is standing infront of our bean crop and they are growing quite well. to the left of them are the peas. if you look closely you can see the broiler barn, complete with a blue shade cover used at prior family picnicks. next time we use it the chickens will also be a part of those picnics.

Candy for Plants

On Saturday the South Wastewater Treatment Plant was giving away bags of Groco. Groco is acompost mix made out of the biosolids produced by the plant and saw dust. It is a rich soil amendment that has nutrients that plants love! I was able to get a fairly big bag and decided to fertilize my plants. sort of.

Those greens that i thought the bugs ate? those turned out to be raddishes! so i had to thin them and the raddishes which are root vegtables had grown up rather than down. So i mounded them with the groco. I heard you could grow bigger potatoes doing that so i figure the same probably applies with other root vegtables.

I made my sister elizabeth help and she asked what the groco was made out of, "Sawdust composted with fertilizer made from human and food waste." "YUCK! thats disgusting." but she kept mounding the raddishes so she obviously didnt think it was that disgusting. I think she just wanted to get out of helping me. she then told me, "I am a chicken farmer. I dont farm vegtables, i just want to do chickens." nice try kid. that doesnt get out out of helping me.

I actually opened that Encyclopedia of Country Living, and raddishes are only white, yellow, and red. not purple. these roots were definately purple. so it turns out I have been growing turnips. Here is a picture of mounded turips.

I think the turnips are happy with their plant candy. hopefully they can recover from the stunting i inflicted upon them by not thining them.

Pictures o' Peas

Its time for a quick picture post about my peas. If you start at the bottom its a pea bramble, then weeded, then trellised, then climbing. I even found my first peas today!

Part 3 of Chicken tales

“Some are born great, some achieve great, and some have butchering chickens thrust upon them.”

If you recongnize that ripped off quote, i give you permission to feel superior. Everytime someone comes over the chickens are a source of small talk. (Or everytime we force chickens into any conversation with anyone from the outside world.) I am convinced that people want to know about chickens. There is a wave of chicken owners sweeping through the neighborhood. We are on the crest of an urban trend. Brief rabbit trail: We are the pioneers in something that people with bigger backyards (also called farms) have been doing for hundreds of years! And this makes us, the Pitts, special. Score for us. Back to chicken conversation. Urban people hold the act of growing things, animals or plants very highly, especially if you are one of those urban people. if you are not then you are a legit farmer and what you do is expected. You can’t know what the inside of a mall and a chicken looks like but if you have this diverse skill set you can become quite popular. However if you live on a farm and know this, too bad, you are still a hick. This is how I will win fame and fortune -- knowing the inside of a mall AND a chicken.

Back to the initial subject. Butchering chickens. This is the questions people always want to know. “So you’re going to eat the broilers…how are you going to kill them?” I found us a butcher! An old babysitting client of mine grew up on a poultry farm. His wife volunteered him to pop their necks. Apparently chicken butchering must be done a certain careful way or the hormones released during the dying process ruins the meat. However he didn’t want anything to do with the plucking, skinning, or other chicken butchering tasks. That means a no go. We cannot have carcasses cluttering up our backyard.

While I am fully confident that with the aide of a few books and the internet I could figure out how to do all of that, I’d rather not be holding a book in one hand and a knife in the other. It makes for messy books. So there is a chicken processing facility that we could go to and learn how to do it. Or there is a mobile butcher that comes around and does it. I’m thinking I could save myself 3 bucks a head if I just learn to do it myself and then can save money in the longer term if we ever do broilers again. However I’m not sure I want to add chicken butcher to my diverse skill set. It’s a little more scary for the urban dweller than pruning your own trees and driving a riding lawnmower and convincing people it’s a tractor. Emily Pitts: Chicken Butcher. It doesn’t really have the right ring to it. Yet at the same time…it will save me three bucks a head. it is a peculiar delema.

Smashing Eggs, not Pumpkins

For the last four days I have beat a slow treat back away from the jungle of a garden. I have avoided it and its many weeds. Since I am very good at growing weeds, every once in a while it gets rather discouraging. Something is eating everything except the tomato plants that have no fruit, the lettuce, and the carrots. Everything else looks like its been assuaged with buckshot. RIP my beets, my kale, my cabbage, you were cut down in your prime. RIP my friends.

I have turned my hand to growing herbs. After the Great Start Disaster earlier this summer where all of my tomato, pepper, (and plants that we couldn’t remember what they were) died after a drought that may have been due to lack of people watering rather than water I took it upon myself to nurture these seeds into fine strapping plants. Today Elizabeth and I finished transplanting Basil.

Unlike the last time where we killed everything this time we grew too much and had to thin it out. Killing basil by choice rather than by accident makes me feel…powerful. Now we have an Herb Garden of Three. Cilatro, Parsley, and Basil. Its right next to our potted patio orchard. The starts have their real leaves now. I feel like a proud parent. My herbs are growing! I am successful. Elizabeth is going to try her hand at sales tomorrow. I suggested she give away the extra basil, but she informed me, “well, I could sell it….” The entreprenueral spirit is strong in this one. I might be more excited about that than the actual growing of plants.

Side note: we planted the cilantro and parsely in eggshells, the protein from the egg is supposedly good nutrients for the small seedlings. (so now ma pitts requires us to save eggshells by freezing them. When we want to plant anything we have to unthaw the eggshells that have been frozen together. our version of farming is very work intensive.) however when it came time to transplant the eggshell seedilings straight into the soil we realized that the roots had not been able to break through the egg shells like we thought they would. casey told me later than when the egg shells are planted they begin to decompose and self compost and the roots easily breakthrough. Not knowing that elizabeth and i spent a lot of time bashing the bottoms of the eggs on the patio to let the roots live free. I think so far that has been her favorite part of being a farmer girl. smashing eggs.

Part 2 in chicken tales

today people (meaning everyone who wasnt at work) forgot to let out the chickens. Thankfully none of them died. they were in their house all day. kind of like me in a cubical. poor chickens? no one ever says poor emily.

Pa Pitts usually puts them outside every day so that they can be: Free Range. but as Billy pointed out. "that just means they eat out of their feeder outside." true.
We had to seperate the layers from the broilers. Mrs. S who has a degree in poultry (such a thing is possible?) is called up regularly and asked for advice. had we not seperated the fat broiler from the skinny layers they would have killed each other. I guess thin hens just dont like fat chicks. Thus the plastic tool shed was converted to broiler house. and all the tools ended up in the garden shack. soon we will have an army of sheds in the back. a regular shanty town.

the 15 broilers (eatting chickens) continue to sit around eat and get fat. I am psuedo owner of all these birds. Everyone got a layer and then i was "given" the broilers, all 15, because according to Elizabeth, "you dont like pets and wont care when we eat them." you are a very very astute child. I despise taking care of long term pets. This is why i have a desert plant.

Chickens: a Story in 26 parts

The chickens could probably deserve their own blog. There is just that much to say about them. It all started several years ago when my mom won a silent auction bid for a carpenter. That was the start of her master plan to build a hen house. (the carpenter job was big enough to build the hen house but not big enough to re-build our house) The hen house has been waiting empty for some time now. but a few weeks ago my mom decided to get her money out of her initial investment and 26 baby chicks arrived in the mail. TWENTY SIX. (hense the 26 part chicken story) All of the sudden our lives were consumed by chickens. we are like that old lady who ‘ leave her dog alone for more than two hours. The chickens might need water, the chickens might get hungry, the chickens are a pain. We had to take multiple trips to the feed store. Or different feed stores, and get equipment, and even more equipment and supplies at the hardwear store.

They had to live in the house for the first month. Specifically our basement. By my exercise equipment. You couldn’t use the treadmill, the sauna, the elliptical machine, and any of the extra space for the free weights was taken up by the chickens. They were kept in a box enclosure and then transferred to a wading pool that my dad rigged up with boards to keep the sides from collapsing and covered with mesh. The whole basement began to smell like barn and it slowly permeated throughout the whole house. The real reason no one could use or go near the basement. If for nothing else the chickens provide something we (Ellen and I) love to hate. And you will hear a whole lot more about it.

Green Acres

today when i went out to the living room for the Morning Family Getogether Before Chores. (we sit around in bathrobes discussing what we need to get done) It was the chickens that spawned the fast decline of our conversation. The chickens is a story in 26 parts. and by the end of the summer I will post all 26. Today Pa Pitts was talking Expansion. getting a turkey next year maybe even two. and a duck to eat the slugs out of the garden. I officially want nothing to do with birds.(see Chickens in 26 parts) I will stick to the garden and pulling weeds. then for some reason (brad's fb post) i brought up mini pot bellied pigs, and then my dad was saying we should move to the country and get a farm and goats, and things that farms have. what? no.

as i was headed out of the living room i spied my mother's latest book purchase. (she is a solid advocator of using the library so when a book is purchased is a Big Deal.) it was the Complete Encyclopedia of Country Living 10th Edition.
How to sharpen an axe and all your knives! prune a tree! drive a tractor! the art of bee keeping! and about 500 more pages of farming thrills. the farm idea may not be that far away...

Carrots. a very good investment.

I’m emotionally attached to my plants. I didn’t think it could happen or even would happen to me. But it has. Pa Pitts harvested a row of baby greens for a salad last night. I couldn’t eat it. These were my plants that I slaved over and protected from slugs, and drought, and weeds of the most voracious kind. (Actually I just wanted to eat Chinese food instead and didn’t know about the salad until it was gone.)

I forced myself to thin out the carrots and I felt like I was putting my garden at risk. What if the strongest ones dont survive? what if i pulled the wrong ones? I don’t like pulling anything remotely resembling a good plant. I forced myself to pull out the tomato plants that sprouted in my spinach and carrots because I couldn’t have them crowding out the other plants. Survival of the fittest is not allowed in the wrong spot! I will soon write an entry on what constitutes a weed (according to Pa Pitts). I am very attached to carrots.

When Pa Pitts harvests my lettuce I will look like a failure! I will no longer have nice neat rows of lettuce that are a testament to my prowess in the garden. I’ll have to try my hand at growing more things. So as not to leave gaping holes or patches of dirt. So far I’m good with lettuce and carrots. I suppose it’s because I consider them real food, where bok choy and okra are a little iffy. Seriously? Who eats those? Carrots are read edible food that often appears in my refrigerator. By way of the costco. No more! I will grow my own. I will be the best carrot farmer in the world! Until my father pulls them all out and we feast on them for dinner. And then I have to start the whole stupid circle of life over again. Dangit.

Peas Grow

Apparently my father is a wise old man with more knowledge about farming than I gave him credit for. I tried trellising the peas. It was about 10 at night and I was doing it with Adam the Giant who had his own ideas on how to pound trellis stakes and wake up the whole neighborhood. (Trellising by flashlight.) Now we know why the pioneers got up early, there were no flashlights to save their pea crops.

The next day I admit when I looked at the one row of trellised peas I managed to do in the dark, there were some serious design flaws*. However I refuse to waste my time by redoing it. The peas were going to have to deal with it. Pa Pitts interviend on behalf of the pea plants and trellised them using a W shape strung between the industrial sized metal stakes with twine instead of a z shape that I decided on. The peas are not going to turn into a pea bramble bush. It did get me thinking about the father of genetics, Gregor Mendel, I wonder how he trellised his peas.

One crop is saved. We only need to reclaim the rest of the garden from weeds, vermin, and drought.

(*I would like to mention that had I had the forethought to plant the peas against the garden fence they would have naturally trellised themselves like the morning glories have done and I would have saved a lot of time and effort, and now I have to do demolition on the morning glories.)

((Upon noting this to my father about the peas and the fence he reminded me that we planted pole beans along the fence. the lack of pole beans and the presence of morning glories leads me to believe that the pole beans met their demise in this particular episode of Weed versus Seed.))

The Forced Begining

A few weeks ago I came home from college. Immediately I was tasked with planting our garden. This was an eight hour process which felt like it took about twice that and by the end my sister (who had to help) and I never wanted to see that garden again. 80 dollars worth of steer manure and a failed attempt at roto-tilling will do that. Did i meantion its nearly 675 square feet? I successfully avoided it for a month, then I realized planting the garden made me responsible for it. Thus I began my descent into urban farming. and nothing was the same again.

I probably should have started this as soon as the baby chickens arrived and started to live in our basement. or when i realized the fruit trees in our front yard were an attempt at an orchard. (They are still in their pots) or when i started having to chase chickens around with a pitchfork when the escaped from their ourdoor pen. its going to be interesting.

Labor Task Force/work experiance:

Ma Pitts: had a rock garden once. the one who started this.
Pa Pitts: raised on a farm, rumored to have grown plants, bailed hay, milked cows, raised chickens, not sure if this is the stuff myths are made of, he successfully planted and cultivated last year's garden. Possibly beginner's luck.
Emily: part of my intern duties was the education garden. i can plant seeds, and pull things out. watched my roomate cultivate plants. has a desert plant. that does not aquire watering.
Billy: can google the words garden and farm
Ellen: beginer at chicken wrangling,
Adam: beginer at chicken wrangler, can pull stumps using as he puts it, "leverage"
Bitsy: expert chicken wrangler/whisper has extensive knowledge due to watching the waltons with Ma Pitts.

its going to be an experiment.
at least its not flammable.